Scene at a Hairdressers

31Mar09

I know. I know. I don’t blog enough.

 

So I was at my hairdressers on Saturday getting my hair did. I love going to my hairdresser. She is so funny. I love her attitude and I love her salon, which is in her home. I love her kids they are adorable and I love her family, which comes and goes while you are getting your hair did.

 

So I am getting my hair did and my hairdresser and I are discussing a recent episode of O.pr.ah with St.eve Ha.rv.ey. First, I need to say that I am not taking advice from a dude who has been married three times. Seriously, you are an expert on getting a woman, but clearly not an expert on *staying* with a woman. Also, his book was a lot of common sense, but apparently a lot of woman are lacking common sense. Anyhow, we were talking about a lady who was on the show. She was all confuzzled about how to stay a virgin, give up (some of) the booty and gather respect from the dudes she’s dating. I know, she’s trying to hard. You can’t do all those things at once…obviously, but no one was telling her that. Instead they were laughing at her ass on the show. Someone needed to tell her that, if she wants to have s.ex she should just have it and stop wringing her hands about it.

 

My hairdresser asks me about it and I laugh it off say that she needs to be more secure and stop caring so much about what people think. There’s this myth that men don’t like hoish women. Wrong. Plenty of men try to wifey up hos. Look at Ti.ger Wo.ods and Re.ggi.e Bu.sh to name just two.

 

I digress. So, an older woman also getting her hair did asks what we are talking about. My hairdresser goes all out telling her older woman about how the young lady on the show was getting dudes to give her or.al se.x, but still claims she’s not giving or.al se.x and wants to know if that falls within the parametres of Ste.ve’s arbitrary three month rule. Then the older woman says the comment that has had my mind spinning ever since. She says “Or.al s.e.x?!? That’s the worst kind.” What the fuckedy fuck?! What does that even mean? No seriously. What the FUCK does that even mean?? I think (and trust me when I say I need to seriously stretch my mind to get to where she is) she means in terms of her being a ‘good’ Christian woman she would never even consider having the dirty, nasty or.al s.ex. To which I say, “You don’t know what you are missing lady”. Honestly, when I hear older woman with such repressive, sex negative ideas I wonder if they have ever had an orgasm. I know it’s kind of gross and to think about, but seriously I wonder if they even have ever had any fun in the bedroom. I mean she thinks or.al s.ex is the worst kind of s.ex. Think about that for a second. I hope nobody tells her about a.n.al s.ex. Lol. Clearly, she has never tried it or she wouldn’t have such a ridiculous and stupid idea. Seriously. And please show me where in the bible it says you can’t have o.ra.l se.x or where it says that ora.l s.ex is bad. I swear Christians are too busy policing the private business of their parishoners with stupid made-up bullshit. Sorry for the rant, but I have been seriously thinking about this for DAYS now. The worst kind of s.ex. That’s some of the stupidest shit I’ve heard in a minute.

 

I saw Mocha for the first time in forevah a few weekends ago. We caught up and she told me all about that crazy bitch we use to be friends with. I laughed and laughed at all the craziness she told me. My favourite part (and trust me when I say there were many to choose to from) was how she told me the crazy bitch started a blog about her. That struck me as too funny. Crazy bitch has a lot of nerve starting a blog about anyone. She better hope we don’t all get together and start a blog about her crazy ass. Plus, I told Mocha not to worry about it because all people need to do is consider the source. Who are people going to believe? Is anyone really going to believe a sociopathic woman, who has no friends who’ve known her for longer than a six months? I think not. It just takes time for everyone to see the crazy for themselves. Honestly, I learned so much from that “friendship”. But the number one thing is to never trust anyone who doesn’t have any (and I mean not *one* because she’s a crazy bitch) long time friends. That’s some wisdom from me to you.

 

Toodles,

miz jj

Filed under: Black Hair, Black Issues, Ex-friends, Friends, Life, Sex, Truth Telling   |  7 Comments